On giving support

An excerpt from my journal:

“True support comes not from guilt. Not from ‘who am I if I wouldn’t. Not from fear of losing, fear of not being enough. Not from ‘it’ll make me a good human’.

It comes from presence, love and with patience.

True support given in a moment of need is the greatest ointment for the lost soul, the aching heart and the tired body. True support says hello, I am here fully, with nothing to ask in return.

So if I find myself unable to give wholeheartedly, maybe that is not a moment to shame myself or punish the other for needing help. Maybe it is the exact moment that I need to pause and ask: have I supported myself enough? Or am I trying to carry a burden that was never mind to carry?

There is a subtle distinction between support that whispers strength into the other and support that enables the other to not see the strength in themselves. True support aims to help the other back on their feet. Instead of becoming a permanent crutch for them to lean on. For in being that crutch, you both become unfree.

True support is selfless in that is not while forgetting the self, but while already being nourished enough so that there is no gain in the giving. No gain other than the love you can feel for the other. And through the giving that love moves through you, for you to enjoy being alive and knowing love and giving it wholeheartedly.”

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